"That's what I was thinking about before you came. I was thinking about your mattering business. I feel like, like, how you matter is defined by the things that matter to you. You matter as much as the things that matter to you do. And I got so backwards, trying to make myself matter to him. All this time, there were real things to care about: real, good people who care about me, and this place. It's so easy to get stuck. You just get caught in being something, being special or cool or whatever, to the point where you don't even know why you need it; you just think you do."
"You don’t even know why you need to be world-famous; you just think you do."
"Yeah. Exactly. We're in the same boat, Colin Singleton. But it didn’t really fix the problem, getting popular."
"I don’t think you can ever fill the empty space with the thing you lost. Like getting TOC to date you doesn't fix the Alpo event. I don’t think your missing pieces ever fit inside you again once they go missing. Like Katherine. That's what I realized: if I did get her back somehow, she wouldn't fill the hole that losing her created."
"Maybe no girl can fill it."
"Right. Being a world-famous Theorem-creator wouldn't, either. That's what I've been thinking, that maybe life is not about accomplishing some bullshit markers. Wait, what's funny?"
"Nothing it's just, like — I was thinking that your realization is like if a heroin addict suddenly said, 'You know, maybe instead of always doing more heroin, I should, like, not do heroin.'"
An Abundance of Katherines, P200-201
John Green
ISBN 978-0-14-241070-7
No comments :
Post a Comment